This Is My Story...

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2010-07-31T21:46:00.001+08:00

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Dear blog..Pt.1

2008-11-30T21:22:00.004+08:00

Dear blog..I know I've not been updating you since my last post on the 7th July 08. It's not that I have nothing to talk about. I have a lot of things to say actually. Really. I'm not joking. Really, a lot of stuff...

Let me start by saying that 1 month from this day,30th November 08, I will be somewhere different,yet exciting...somewhat glad,yet anxious..somehow happy,yet worry...

I will (try!) blog everyday starting from today about myself, my journey, my excitement, my sadness, my fear, my anxiety, my everything, until the day when I enter into the unknown..the place feared by some..the place yearned by others..the place I hope to find eternal happiness with my significant other...

birthday present

2008-07-07T00:55:00.003+08:00

yeah,yeah! after so many years (well,ever since i came to work in malaya) of birthdays&no celebration&no present, this year i received a birthday present from doreena. though given belated, she actually told me about the present wayyy before my birthday. it's big. it's pink. it's,it's,it's.....

it's a pink stuffed rectangular doll(??).hehe...but i love it!!!!! anyone who are fans of princess hours would definitely recognize the doll as the princess used the exact doll to lepas geram on.hahaha!!! can you see whose pic i've put in the face pocket???

name : not yet decided

age : +- 2 months

gender : male

location : kajang

so anyone has any ideas on what name should i call him?

and to my friend who would like to remain unidentified (you know who you are...),susah lah ya kalik reflexology/massage less than 50/hour. kl standard,doik de less so 50,hehehe...tapi cadangan2 mu akan topat2 d kuching akan ku pertimbangkan.maybe ba ku ogik masa ku palik kch,oku akan nosak topat2 demunok. tapi kirieng keh de molas noh? pak nyaa keh / sinok nyaa? kadang2 ogik topat memang murah,tapi kebersihan/amalan2 molas noh...agak...kurafat..hahahahah.....botul keh perkataan de pakai ku onoh?? anyway,maksud ku,amalan2 yg melibatkan benda2 asing,hehehe...

tonight im online coz for some reason my laptop could detect someone with wireless connectivity.so in other words,im mencuri bandwith orang la tok,hahahah!!!apa2 pun, aku berterima kasih&bersyukur akan kelebihan tok...moga2 malam2 yang seterusnya akan ada lagik,ok??

hmmm,anyone knows where i can get second hand plastic dining table,the square one,whatever colour will do...i'm having guests coming over in august & i really need a bigger dining table than what i have now...so anyone knows of anybody who wants to sell off their table according to my specifications / any kedai that can offer good deal on dining table,do msg me. would appreciate it very much!

till my next posting,cheers!!!

the day after...

2008-07-04T14:19:00.003+08:00

right now i'm at starbucks kajang,online while eating sandwich&having choc cream frap. my colleague&i checked ouT from the hotel at around 1030 and i reached kajang at 11++. so what i did was i came to metropoint,went up to the 1st floor and went straight to reborn reflexology. yeah,i need to wind down&destress myself after 4 days of mental&spiritual torture...not forgetting yesterday's verbal torture...

i took the promotion package of foot reflexolgy+whole body massage.only 100.1 hour for the foot and 1 hour for the body.kena picit,kena pukul,kena tarik,kena tekan,kena cubit....still in cloud 9.it was intoxicating,i may want more!!!hehehe...

what a week...

2008-07-03T23:50:00.002+08:00

idoh la kamal...students noh nai practical de topat koih,noh sobab eh oku ogik students,bukannya oku cikgu,hehehe.suka lagik ku balas msg mu daang blog tih,hehehe..bah,kan sudi ngin bih komen dang tih geh;)

so the whole of this week i've been staying at melia as i was the secretariat for some meeting. hence the constant update because broadband is everywhere!! just wish kajang town is like this..easy connectivity to the internet. then i wouldn't have to go to the kedai kopi mahal just to be online:

even though times square is just opposite,bukit bintang&sg.wang are just behind,i didn't have the feeling to buy anything. maybe i've lost the interest..or maybe because of the recession..or maybe i just wasn't into it! i am so dead tired..physically,mentally and spiritualy. to make matters worse,my colleague&i were given some tongue lashing during the last session during the meeting. u see, both of us were the rapporteur,so as i know,during meeting such as this,our job is to take note of questions&answers being raised after progress report presentation or discussion. anyway, this was not my first time doing rapporteuring.

but if u've read one of my posting not so long ago, i mentioned of someone who drives me crazy at times and this week could be summarized as those times when i just wish i could ask some divine intervention to make him CEASE from this world!!! the remark he gave was...'what have u been doing these few days?'... like, HELLO!! who have been running around,accomodating requests from the participants,get this,bring that,take this,type that,open this,ask that,and god knows what else!!and after all these things that we did, he still could not digest the fact that he is so blessed with a team that are so capable of doing odd jobs at the most oddest or weirdest moments??pasya, time certificate presentation to secretariat, ada hati mok shake hand ngan aku!!!binaka!!!ku hulur jak tangan.sikda pun niat mok berjabat tangan.senyum pun sik.pandang apa gik!

panas jak hati....even though the air-con was below 25C,i felt my inner self boiling almost to the brim.f**k him la,m not going to work tomorrow.anyway, we only need to check out tomorrow so don't expect me to go to the office&be in the same building as him after what he had said today!i really don't know how else i could be patient with him,or,for how long i could stand his insults before one day i will raise my hand and throw something in his direction.oh God,please hear my plea...

im sleepy&very tired right now.i'll post some pictures taken during my stay at melia some other time.i miss my mimik&kura2...wonder what they're up to now....

another entry...

2008-07-02T00:04:00.002+08:00

ever since i got back from my gawai holidays, i've been here&there. it seems after gawai is the time when my schedule is in full swing. my first day at work after my gawai break i was told to go to penang for a promotion assignment,the following day. i have yet to unpack my things from kch&i had to pack to go to penang! what a week!! it was exhausting! what can i say about penang during that trip? i stayed at the same hotel as i did 2 years ago. i went to the ever famous street with all the hawker stylefood...what is it called again??ahh,can't remember,m quite sleepy while typing this...hehehe..maybe tomorow morning i'll remember the name of the street,but for the time being i'll just call the street the ever famous street;)

so i bought some asam,tau sa pia and what else to buy from penang ah?? couldn't think of any that time as whatever brand you have in selangor,u can find it in penang also. except for the tau sa pia mabe,but the rest are more or less the same.

then when i got back from the penang trip, i was busy handling my 2 students. luckily they are the obedient ones this time around. such sweet kids;) to leave them for a long period of time is not a good example,hehehe..but, what to do, my schedule is already filled with prior engagements,and, actually i was sort of forced to take them to be under my supervision. so i did my best to accomodate them.

then ah, last tuesday i was assigned for parliament duty. it was a last minute thing as the guy who were supposed to be on duty couldn't make it. but,when i got back i found out the story behind his supposedly 'tak dapat bertugas' matter.hampeh case! anyway, i had fun,i guess?? but i reached a bit too early,730 mahh...the sitting only started at 10.so can imagine ah how early i was...even earlier than the tukang cleaner!!

ahhh...sleepy oredi....need my rest....early morning tomorrow...will update again tomorrow nite....

at last...

2008-06-30T23:34:00.004+08:00

i've been wanting to update my blog but ever since i came back from kch,i've been swamped with many things to think about&many more things to do both at home&at work.

maybe i'll start with my gawai. well, i can't compare it with last year's celebration as i wasn't around last year. so just a few photos taken during this year's celebration...

so this picture was taken at my aunt's house,all the way on top of one of the hill in the kampung.yes,nang banyak bukit di kampung ya,tapi sik la tinggi gilak. anyway, look at the happy faces who were doing the toast...huge smile...from ear to ear...;)

and this is another toasting session at my house.not on top of any hill,hehe,just the normal/usual terrace house.but the atmosphere...superb!!i can't remember the last time i had so much fun taking pictures of my relatives:)oh,they are from my mum's side of the family

and this little girl??one of the many things in my wishful list is to have my mini-me to be somewhat like her;) she is sooo adorable&she wouldn't resist any offer to take picture with me!!she will just leave whatever she was doing at that time&pose with me in an instant!!ahh,one of my favourite anak buah..we call her shamin,or,meeeeen. chit chatting with her is soo much fun!she'll be talking non-stop,without the annoying factor; her lively giggles; her sweet smile...see how she puts her hand over mine??i felt soooo loved&needed,hahaha!!

since i'll be staying at melia for the rest of the week,with easy internet access,i'll update again tomorrow on what else i've been doing.till then,adios!!

pot luck dinner at blessed sacrament...

2008-06-04T22:50:00.007+08:00

in my previous post i mentioned a pot luck dinner in conjunction with corpus christi & gawai celebration. so i'm posting some pictures taken during the dinner...enjoy!!!

side view of BSC

that's my mum...and the one in the blue shirt is my dad. my bro was in front,no where to be seen...

me! with my mum!

see,so many people!!

the parish priest...

the first round of this meat was quite masin...after that i was HEAVEN!!!

me & my mummy again! this time we were already seated & was waiting for the blessing of food

heated discussion,sampe the camera pun gegar2...my cousins & their parents were there also

bah,ki sok mija tok tik eh?? moh bogok tiak kuban pinguman de mija demutik,moh dik tok piruh tiak mija tok...mummy!!daddy!!find us!!!

see the next table? already set for tapau-ing,hehehe...

our table pun lebih kurang jak....hehehe..aihh,don't waste food!!!

3 of us after the dinner...ok jak,sikda rupa kenyang,hehehe...was the taste to my liking??

err...lets just say,when we bought the tickets,it was for charity,so,sik pat komen lebey2...

next post : gawai activities!!! tune in again!!!!

mirc--more interesting relay chat??

2008-05-29T21:55:00.004+08:00

ahhh...finally i'm home. m back for my annual mid-year break cum gawai holidays. this time, i'm off for 11 working days,so 2 weeks holidays lah. so lamak u say? no lah...holidays can never be too long,but always never enough..

i went to a friend's wedding last saturday. morning was church blessing at st. thomas and the reception was that evening at hilton. it was alright. food was great. makan-makan ended around 10++,but of course the karaoke @ mejeng session didn't end until midnight (or wayyy past mid night sometimes!). but i went home after the last course,didn't want to wait any longer as i didn't drive that night. u see, my mum's wira is still not out from the workshop,so the only car we have at home is my dad's car. so have to kongsi2 & plan our trip if anyone wants to go out. hmm,so susah la if there's no extra car...

then on sunday, there was a pot luck dinner at blessed sacrament church. corpus christi cum gawai celebration. but...sikda feel gawai pun!! muka2 yg sik celebrate gawai jak yg rami. in the words of rizal af6,..ape ke hal nyer yop!...seriously, people went there just to eat. even the priest wasn't interested in mingling around with the parishioners.which is so typical of him. i know, i know...i'm meng-umpat-ing a priest. but the attitude demonstrated how it defeats the purpose & the way of life of priests...to love & care about their parishioners...well, that was what i was taught last time...i took pictures,but since the pc i'm using is not so convenient for me to upload pictures,i'll post the pics in my future post.

hmmm,my sis is not around as she has gone to labuan for matriculation programme. so it's me all alone in the room. although i have more space for myself, but it's not the same without her. i tried sabotaging the position of her patung2 in the room,which used to be fun because she would sabotage me back,now it's no more fun...hmm...

last night i log into mirc after many years. wow...very different from what i was used to. it's quieter. but scarier. how scary? well, lets just put it this way...kids nowadays are more bolder in telling other people of their sexual preferences...and their wishes of...getting..laid...not scary enough u say? the kid was only 20 & just been dumped by the gf, or ex-gf, or maybe it was mutual separation, or maybe he initiated,or what ever lah! anyways, the question posed to me was...am i open minded...that got me off guard. & i knew something was not the usual...i tried not to sound or be judgemental. i knew very little of him to pass judgement,right?but i didn't try to lecture him,or, be patronising.after all, maybe mirc nowadays is meant for normal and paranormal conversations,hehehee...and the guy said he met many gays tried to chat him up..sheeshh...

and there was also another guy who said he's married & was just into irc to 'look for some fun before his wife finish watching some dumb korean (or was it mandarin?) dvd'.ehh? and then he said he was 'hot here'-->i think 'here' means in irc,or,at the position in front of his pc??so i told him to just go & kacau his wife la,dont wait till the dvd ends to get 'anything' over with.i dont want him to raise the hot issue then..or any other matter that could be raised*wink*wink*hahahaha!!! that was it lah...i just logged off after that. like,irc could be that...low nowadays ka,or, just i was at the wrong time,&, at the wrong channel??

anyway people,i'm glad that i'm back for gawai as last year i wasn't here to celebrate. so hopefully gawai this year would bring interesting memories for me!!!

till my next post, here's wishing all A SELAMAT GAWAI DAYAK!! GAYU GURU GERAI NYAMAI!!

TARA, TARA, TARA!!! UUUHHAAAAAA!!!!!!!

a trip to genting?i may never want to go there anymore...

2008-05-21T09:36:00.002+08:00

a long weekend had passed. saturday,sunday and monday off. so last week, i was hoping to use these 3 days to do some last minute shopping before i'm off for my gawai break. but, it did not turn out that way as i was 'forced' to go for a workshop over the weekend,up there in awana genting. anyone knows what's in store for a workshop that dishes out title such as 'penerapan budaya inovasi'? let me do the honour...

friday was the day. i arrived early so as to nab a good parking spot.why? i'll be leaving my car to use the designated transportation.the janji was at 730.it was 8 when we started our journey. biasalah, jam indonesia,always half hour later than expected time. because there were only 10 of us (1 was already up there,he drove), so we were ferried up there in pajeros. ah,better than i expected. initially they told us we would be using the bus. i had some apprehension because the bus could never be able to scale the bukit!!! we'll be stranded half way up lah if use the bus!!

so we arrived there at about 1030.okla.but the people from sirim were not there yet. so we were invited to makan&minum (again!at our last stop i took mi goreng at genting sempah R&R). after mkn minum,we waited.it was only about 1130 or so that the folks from sirim arrived.then they say,'makan&minum dulu lah!". again??apparently, their buses were not endowed with the ability to panjat the bukit. lucky we use the pajero.otherwise,the same fate would happen to us.

because we started late, the activities lasted till almost midnight. letih you know. generate new ideas. be innovative. be creative. as if we can be creative as easy as abc. i need to do something repetitive & ,some would say, sort of meng-khayal-kan, in order for me to be at least imaginative. when the mind is being soothed, ideas will flow easily i would say!!

on saturday morning, we had aktiviti senaman. well, at least them,NOT me,hehehe. i.., err.., overslept..hehehe. i was soo tired. monday till thursday in the office,faced the uni kids,then friday go to awana&the activity only ended almost midnight. so i was soo tired taht i found it hard to wake up. my room mate had decided to NOT attend the morning exercise. lagik best! coz she oredi decided,hehehe. but the next session only started at 830,so we managed to arrived on time. but our group kenak deduct markah. apparently, not only the 2 of us,there were quite a number of people not able to attend the morning exercise.

sunday was presentation time. what can i say..i can't wait to go home. there was nothing else to do up there, except,think,think,think...and i was bored to think anything anymore up there. i might have a very different feeling the next time i go up there..or i may never will go up there again...bengkel at awana & conference at first world 2 years back...i will never be able to look at genting the way i used to look at it many many years ago...

Do you want to hear me complaining??

2008-05-08T13:28:00.003+08:00

How do you work with someone who has an ego as gigantic as the pre-historic dinosaur?
How do you handle someone who has an attitude that surpasses even the world known diva?
How do you communicate with someone that treats other people badly?
How do you negotiate with someone who adopts the 'holier-than-thee' act?
How do you survive in an environment fiercer than any battle in the animal kingdom?

Well, i do have to go through each and every how-dos that i've mentioned. In fact,every day. For the past 5 years.

And how do I feel after being subjected to those treatments?

Disgusted.

Angry.

And sometimes wishing some divine intervention to remove him from his current position!

To be picked upon. Scapegoat. You know, the environment that I'm in is not a very conducive one. I know, I may be complaining too much. Must always remember,to be thankful for the things I have. But if I'm being dragged into something I know is/are wrong,& not being able to do anything to stop the debacle,should I just say..let's just surrender everything to the Lord?... or ...it's in HIS plan...

Yes, fate. I know that. But by not doing anything to at least lessen the extremity of the chaos, is being too complacent. I can't change anything by talking. The word change is a verb that requires some action to be done in order to accomplish its meaning. So what shall I do next?

I do not regret the actions that I've taken.

And yes, I believe in the thing called sexist. Especially the term misogyny - hatred of women.

And everyday I have to face the reality of my boss being one. Yeah, I know,I sedang mengumpat.Hahaha!!

The more I try to understand the inner-workings of his mind,the more I loath him. Being understanding is not easy,especially if it concerns someone who has no respect towards the other sex. I can never understand his sexual preferences. Nor can I ever accept his holier-than-thee attitude. This kind of hypocrisy should not be tolerated. It should be stopped. Please la...any divine intervention will do..God,please hear my prayer...

I know I'm being emotional today. This is not induced by any chemical/physical factors.

This is just me,complaining...

Remembering the departed

2008-04-24T13:48:00.005+08:00

REMEMBER

by: Christina Rossetti (1830-1894)

REMEMBER me when I am gone away,

Gone far away into the silent land;

When you can no more hold me by the hand,

Nor I half turn to go, yet turning stay.

Remember me when no more day by day

You tell me of our future that you plann'd:

Only remember me; you understand

It will be late to counsel then or pray.

Yet if you should forget me for a while

And afterwards remember, do not grieve:

For if the darkness and corruption leave

A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,

Better by far you should forget and smile

Than that you should remember and be sad

at 3.30am, 24th april 2008,my dear friend's mum,passed away after battling her illness for many years.

my thoughts&prayers are with them.

and i pray that aunty's soul will rest in peace.

condolences from me..

When I'm Gone

by Mrs. Lyman Hancock

When I come to the end of my journey

And I travel my last weary mile

Just forget if you can, that I ever frowned

And remember only the smile

Forget unkind words I have spoken

Remember some good I have done

Forget that I ever had heartache

And remember I've had lots of fun

Forget that I've stumbled and blundered

And sometimes fell by the way

Remember I have fought some hard battles

And won, ere close the day

Then forget to grieve for my going

I would not have you sad for a day

But in summer just gather some flowers

And remember the place where I lay

And come in the shade of evening

When the sun paints the sky in the west

Stand for a few moments beside me

And remember only my best

1825

2008-04-22T16:33:00.002+08:00

*sob*sob*sob*

that's was how i felt when i saw satria being driven by my brother last sunday. it has been with me for 4 years, 9 months and 3 days to be exact.a new chapter for satria has begun. new story to be written. another history to be made.

farewell satria...i will never forget the days we shared..the memories we created...

apart from that,another milestone was achieved yesterday..21 April 2008..

it marked the day when i left my hometown,to be where i am today.

the journey has been meaningful

the path..most of the time..rocky

the experience...amazing

the feeling..mixed

the spirit..renewed with each passing moments

the destination..unknown..

so,a relieved heart that says..here's a toast to the last 1825 days...and many more to come!!!

cheers!!!

anyone need free screws?

2008-04-17T15:03:00.004+08:00

To be driving my satria to work this morning was nothing short of marvellous,nostalgic memories.yes,i know it's just 1.3,manual,but my satria has been with me,through thick&thin,for the last 4 years&9months.

So today i promise myself,that i will make sure anything that needs to be repaired,be repaired.

Off i went to my first stop.The ketuk2 shop.weird.no one was around.it's the usual kedai that i went to before for any minor damage to the car.the doors are wide open.but not a single soul inside.today is thursday.is it an off day for them?strange.they are not chinese,so the question of them having a middle of the month festivities is out of the question.hmm.maybe not meant to be.so postpone that thought for the time being.

Then i went to a car accessories shop at fasa 4 tambahan.the usual shop.not open also!!jeng jeng jeng!!!what day is it today?17 april 2008.got public holiday ka?no leh.nevermind lah.go other shop.maybe not meant to be.went to another shop around the corner,aiyoh!!quite expensive la the thing that i want.survey lok lah.

Then it was the jalan reko shop.open.but they don't have what i wanted.

what is it that i wanted?

look at this...

Yes,i wanted to get a rim cap for my tyres.normal ones will do lah.this i got for only $35/4caps.oklah.not as expensive as $48/piece from the previous shop.and this cap i bought it from a kedai at kajang utama.

but before i went to the accessories shop,i went to get my car washed&waxed at metro kajang.for only $60,i can get it done.not bad la even though the car wash operator has changed management. can get the service done for $50 previously with the chinese-muslim uncle.but now no more...

only then i went to kajang utama to get some other things.

first stop at kajang utama...the accessories shop.

apart from the tyre cap, i also bought a pair of wiper.$25.oklah.so i spent $60 at the same shop.and oh,i managed to get them to fix something that has been bugging me&my car for the past few years...

What i meant was..see the black plastic thingy,attached to the body of the car,the long thin black kinda like railing?aha!why you ask?well,it used to be loose&keeps falling off from time to time,when i have people sitting in front&accidently knocked it off from its position when alighting the car.so i asked the tow-key if he can get it fixed.and he said...aiyah,kasi free sajalah pada amoi!hmm,ok!

what was i wearing?

pants&t-shirt.hardly erotic...

then i went to another shop to get the alignment&balancing fixed.zzzppp!zzzppp!the steel screws were on the floor.it didn't take long for them to get it done.then the foreman opened the boot.i don't know why.i guess,maybe today is a good day for me coz he got another element fixed without me asking,just when he was about to open the boot...

see the 4 black screws?they are in fact plastic screws,fastened by the good foreman,because believe it or not,that thing too has been loose&kept falling off whenever someone tries to take out things from the boot.the charge for balancing&alignment was..KACHINGG! only $30.

and did i mentioned the plastic screws was of no charge?

what is it about today?my attire?ok leh,decent.
my hair?i washed it last night.the curls are bouncy.but thats about it lah.
could they be falling for my charms or wits??
haahhh!!!

boleh kasi murah lagi ka?
aiyo,mahal la tu
kasi baik ini benda,boleh ka?

can you ever express your charms or anything else for that matter,except for your wish to get the car fixed by those sentences?

hahaha...;)

it's a good day today...very rare...alleluia!!

next,i want to show you the other 'trademarks' that my satria has received over the past few years...

this one when i parked my car outside susan's house when i went back to kuching.

this one happened just a few months after i bought satria.a motorcycle passed by.there were gravels.so one just flew in the direction of my car.geram bukan main gik time ya.tapi apa boleh buat..

this lekuk happened also during the first year of my satria.it was with a kia sephia.the kia was not damaged.but my satria did.my fault anyway,so,apa boleh buat.this lekuk was the first thing i wanted to get done this morning,but the kedai was not open.hmmm..not meant to be la..

ada gik a few other places,tapi sik pat mok ambik gambar.angle sik membenarkan,hehehe.

total expenditure for today = $150

tomorrow,more needs to be done.so till my next post...

oh by the way,anyone needs free screws???

more needs to be done...

2008-04-16T16:14:00.003+08:00

Before you jump to any conclusions, the guy that i've just put up his pic in my blog is none other than the minister for science,technology&innovation ministry--Datuk Dr Maximus Ongkili. And you know what..i shook hands with him yesterday! yay! or huh?

I know,i know...apalah best gilak nak?but,you see,he came to my agency,to visit his anak-anak buah,from all agencies under his ministry. his entourage consisted of the current ksu mosti,deputy minister of mosti,Fadilah Yusof,a sarawakian guy,and the rest of his people from his ministry.

And how come i was one of those selected people to be able to shake hands with him?

well..

i guess it's a matter of telling the new minister of how my agency is well represented in terms of their employees. but you see, there are only 31 of us sabahan&sarawakians,out of 1000 permanent staff. 31/1000 X 100 = 3%. if i'm not mistaken, according to statistics,this figure is not significant.at all. talk about nak ambik hati...

on monday, i received an email from some top management,menjemput (aka instructing) us to bersama-sama dalam menyambut kedatangan menteri&his entourage. as usual, office wear.i put on my best suit.didn't matter if i can do any work when i wear that suit.as long as nampak kacak.huh,how shallow...

so,off we go.1 long line of sabahan&sarawakians.getting ready to menyambut the menteri.first,the ksu came.i am not sure of his name as the ksu is always ever changing! then the deputy,mr.fadilah yusof.no title yet.but i think coming soon.then the menteri came.

it wasn't awkward.just i felt like some binatang dalam sarkis,that you put up for show so that the audience would be clapping their hands at the sight of the animals.then they can go back,feeling happy&contented with the marvellous show.but what did i feel after being paraded?? has anyone ever thought of how the caged animals feel when they are being paraded?i think i do know now.

Disgust

with a capital D...

doesn't make sense at all.

it is just a false sense of belonging.

like...oh you see,we have quite a number of people from YOUR negeri working here...and they are good asset to the agency...

translation---you see ah,we are not racist.see, we give your people kerja here.so that you won't condemn us of being berat sebelah---

my f***!!

no,not the obscene word...just my foot,hahaha!!

talking about a different matter, i just got the car tinted.65% i think.not bad la.after all, i got the gift voucher from the dealer.it's a 150 gift voucher.after that,the owner of the premise gave me another discount voucher.for the same tint package that i've gotten for the car,i can get another car tinted at just 150 (bayar upah pasang jak).wow,macam tauk-tauk jak that i want to do the same for satria,hehehe...

more needs to be done...

p/s: ok sek carol.whenever you're in town,i ok jak.mcm biasa,kedak jaman dolok2! ;)

a different feeling...

2008-04-15T08:39:00.003+08:00

yes,i had internet connection problem at home & i've settled it..by returning the modem back to the company&depriving myself of any connectivity to the cyber world at home,but i hope only for the time being!

that experience had taught me well.time&time again we've been told that 'the world is just at your finger tips' or 'kids who surf faster,see more,do more,learn more'.but no one can guarantee that you'll be able to do just that!no doubt you'll have access to whatever they can offer you,but,can you truly maximize the offer?

what i had was just a modem.that's it.connectivity?well,interrupted,most of the time.smooth,for only 3 days.heartache,all the time.

so what did i do?return the damn thing.no point paying for something that won't do any good around you,right?no point having anything/anyone that makes you feel worthless around you,correct?so i was told to go to cheras leisure mall to send back the damn thing.the centre is just behind the mall.ok.i did.no penalty.oh,my refund of 100 will be sent by cheque within 6 weeks.hampeh!

traumatized?yeah,i felt that.

glad?yeah,i felt that too.

menyesal?erm,50-50.

disappointed?yeah,with them.

different feeling?maybe,but only towards the 'broadband' concept.

not so broad after all. can get connection at 1st floor.but very hard on the 3rd floor.what the h***!

anyways,talking about different feelings,i am currently riding a new ride.yeah,whatever you had in mind,that's correct lah!but what i actually meant was...

my bro took this picture from the outside.

can you guess what type it is?

this is the maker of my ride.

aok,local..

sik mampu i mun sik local..

m oredi missing satria.it is still at home.i want to do some minor changes to it before i give it to my brother.probably i will make a special blog post,dedicated to satria.it has been with me through thick&thin,through good times&bad times,but never will death do us part,coz it has never been alive,hehehe...

a totally different feeling!!

japanese tea anyone?

2008-04-09T00:00:00.004+08:00

I received a mail from Susan today. Not email,but the snail mail.

This Susan ah, quite good oso in supplying element of surprise when you least expect it.

So here are the contents of her mail...very tasty...

Teh manis sakura was meant for the beginning of spring time in Japan.

and earl grey?

just to wash away the taste of the sakura tea if it was not to my liking (according to Susan)

A cuppa tea...

Close up of the sachet. Green tea with cherry blossom essence & leaves?

Spring time indeed!

Baca, jangan tak baca!

Nice!! Would love to have more!!

dig this...

2008-04-05T23:37:00.003+08:00

Do you delegate or do it?

Article by Tim Connor, a management trainer and author of the best-selling book on salesmanship, Soft Sell.

One of the biggest frustrations of many managers is the lack of time to perform all of the work required of them in their role as a manager. I have yet to meet a manager who does not have too much on his plate. Think of delegation as nothing more than giving yourself the opportunity to spend more time in the vital areas of your job such as planning, organising, inspecting, coaching, innovating and developing people.

Why not take a serious look at how you are spending your time and what tasks you are involved in that can be delegated to someone else. Track your use of time for a week, logging all of the repetitive activities, problem-solving routines, crisis management issues and routine stuff. Ask yourself at the end of the week: Could someone else, or some other department, have done this? What did I not complete because of these actions?

I personally guarantee that you can free up at least an hour a day if you will find creative ways to delegate something, anything. Here are some suggestions:

1. Learn to let go
A weakness of poor managers is their inability or unwillingness to delegate tasks, responsibilities or outcomes. To be an effective manager, you need to know what you can delegate, when you can delegate it and whom you can delegate it to. The role of a manager is not to do it but to get other people to do it. Even self-employed business owners who have small staff strengths can delegate some tasks to someone else, such as sub-contractors, freelancers or temporary employees.

2. Learn to trust others
Why don’t managers delegate? There are three simple causes. One, they don’t trust their employees. Two, they think they can do it faster and easier themselves. Three, they lose control when they give a task or responsibility to someone else.

3. Problem with delegation
There are three fundamental problems with delegation. Managers delegate the methods, techniques, processes rather than the outcomes. They delegate responsibility without giving the people the authority to use necessary resources to get the job done. They delegate a task and then take it back. In other words, they ask an employee or a group to do a task and then, before the person or group has completed it, they take it back and finish it themselves. This does three things, none of which are healthy for the organization:

a. They have just invalidated the employee;
b. They have de-motivated he employee; and
c. They have sent a clear message that they do not trust the employee and that they could do he task better and faster.

Any of these will have a negative short- and long-term negative impact on performance and effectiveness. The purpose of delegation is to train, teach, motivate employees and free up some of the manager’s time t work on the key tasks that he should be doing.

Thirteen ways to delegate work effectively

1. Delegate a task if someone else can do it, wants to do it, needs to do it or likes to do it.

2. When you delegate responsibility, also delegate the authority to use the resources to get it done.

3. Delegate results, not necessarily the methods.

4. When you delegate something, don’t take it back.

5. Ensure the person understands what you have delegated to him and why.

6. Set benchmarks or checkpoints and then leave them alone.

7. Reinforce positive results and give feedback on negative results.

8. Communicate clear instructions, expectations and guidelines.

9. Use delegation as a staff development tool.

10. Resist the tendency to over-inspect.

11. Ask for regular written or verbal reports.

12. Remember what you delegated and to whom.

13. See failure as necessary if people are willing to stretch, learn and grow.

cool! more people should read&apply this!!!

second post in a day...

2008-04-05T19:41:00.005+08:00

haihh....

have you ever felt cheated?

have you ever felt like you have paid for something not worth your money?

i have..

and right now, m at the pinacle of that feeling.

this maxis broadband thing ah, is sooo....arghhhh....

since this morning i've been calling their customer service line.that toll free number. i've spoken to 3 different people and i've not found the solution to my problem of unstable connection. first, i spoke to Uma. then the second lady i didn't get her name. and third was Shawn. so i've spent about 30 minutes (accumulate) calling&talking to them. spent about rm14 of my credit. and i've yet found the solution. some more ah, i get automatically disconnected after some time on the phone with those customer service people. & i still don't get any solution!

so after talking to mimi, who got her package earlier than me, she told me to 'panjatla mana2 tingkap,nak tangkap dia punye line tu'... so mimi, ni lin dah letak betul2 dekat pintu balcony.

nampak tak aerial tu? dah keluar pintu dah. kang kalau tak setel gak masalah ni,memang kena panjat railing balcony tu&ikat modem tu kat kayu,kasi lagi panjang dr piring astro. lagi satu kemuskilan, pasal lampu kelip2 tu..nak kena ada dua-dua nyala ke baru konpom stabil?

see the 2 different pictures with diferent lampu that kelip? either way,will my connection be available? s0 is there any significant difference if both the lampu kelip or not?

haiya...

i will see first the service for the next few days. if it is still not ok, i will have to consider surrendering the package before 7days is up.

hmm....

not so great after all..

yahoooo...

2008-04-05T17:31:00.003+08:00

Yayyy! This is my first post from home. First post using my own modem. First post after getting myself a maxis broadband. Yay! Yay! No more trip to starbucks just to go online. M going to miss the choc cream frap,hmmm..

But since last night i've been experiencing connection problem after about 3 hours of uninterrupted connection. So i called up maxis & they said they will get back to me 2 hours later (that was at 11am,now it's 1.30pm and still no folow up call from them) but the connection is back on, though i still have to check from time to time if the 'connected' icon is blinking. otherwise, i have to call them back.hmm,so much for a broadband service...well, maybe it's just some minor glitch for a new subscriber. we'll see how it goes..

i subscribed the advanced package,speed 640kbps. i was tempted with the 3.6mbps package--options of 99/mth or 138/mth. but maybe not lah,might burst my budget,hehehe...can do la this speed for the next 18months.

bliss!!;)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

and now it's 5.34pm, connection is on & off. speed is so-so lah...

i don't know how long this will last. and after 2 phone calls amounting to rm8.50,2 conversations with Uma & i don't remember her name, the connection is still not very satisfying...apalaaa....

My prerogative, .. or yours?

2008-04-01T08:29:00.004+08:00

Aahh..what a nice week I had back in Kuching. I was there during the Holy Week, detoxifying myself. Actually, I was also back for Carol & Dennis’s wedding celebration. What a blast! I met up with many other friends whom I’ve not seen for ages; Sandra, Helen, Mastini, Wilma&Robert, Mary,Fay&tunang, Tiq, Lindsay, Lami, Marcella, Lincoln@Loloi&gerek, May&Amit, Harrison, Igat…

That Saturday morning was such a joy, seeing Carol in her almost princess-like gown, walking down the aisle. The church wedding was beautiful, almost dream-like. I lost count of how many member empun wedding ceremonies that I’ve attended since 2006, hehe. Rami ma yang melangsungkan perkahwinan. Macam-macam tema pakaian yang dah ku tanga di pake orang untuk wedding ceremony / reception. Which brings me to my own choice of ensemble for wedding ceremony / reception.

What would I wear to a wedding ceremony / reception…

Let me recall…

For church ceremony, normally a simple blouse would do. Not too floral. I’ve chosen colours such as red, cream, white, black (with minimal floral motifs). Most of the time I will pair it with jeans. A few times with skirts. I’ve never worn a gown before. I’ve not seen one that suits my preferences.

And for reception, I’ve worn blouse with skirts, blouse with jeans (my favourite ensemble!) and there was one time pink kebaya because I had nothing else decent o wear ;)

Wedding is all about the bride & groom, right? It’s a celebration of their love..their union ..their joy..right?

But what if you were asked by someone to not wear a certain type of attire to a certain function / event, just because..well, they think it’s not ‘fun’ enough?

Well, hypothetically speaking, if this function were a wedding reception, and the attire in question is categorized as formal, somewhat traditional and at the same time decent, would it be a problem? You would want your guests to come to your function dressed decently, right? Is there any bride out there willing to be upstaged by their guests?

So I went online, looking for websites that offers advice on what not to wear to a wedding and I found one. My take on the article is it’s straight to the point and it’s all about practicality -> which is just so me!. I mean, if I’m not fond of wearing a certain type of attire, why force myself? If the attire won’t flaunt what I have, why wear it just because it’s the ‘in’ thing? Isn’t the centre of attention is the bride & groom and therefore the focus should be on THEM, not the guests. After all, the day is about them. The night is also about them. So the only people who should be worried about the way they look are the bride & groom. I’m not saying the guests can come with whatever they feel like wearing then, but subtlety is the main concept for the guests, kapisch?

What other people wear, is up to them. It’s their prerogative. So what I wear should also be my prerogative.

But unless the theme of the night is ranggi ka, safari ka, badut ka, or any other theme , I don’t see the problem of wearing something decent to any function. If you are invited to a beach party and are required to wear something within that theme, but you don’t feel like wearing it, don’t attend la kan? After all, its your prerogative, not mine, hehe..

February is almost over!!

2008-02-21T11:16:00.000+08:00

February is almost over and this is my first entry of the month. Seems like I blog at an average of only once a month. Everyday I could think of something to blog about but since I don't have internet access at home, my entries would have to be done in the office or during my weekend trip to kedai kopi yang menjual kopi dengan harga yang mahal. But since I don't drink coffee, I can only buy or enjoy non-caffeinated beverages there. Ironic huh? Hence the affinity towards choc cream chip!! With whipped cream please!!!

How time flies!! Now that February is almost over, it shows that the first quater of 2008 is halfway through. February is a month of kongxi-kongxi where we ushered the year of the rat. I'm a monkey by the way. Since I was born in the year 1980, that makes me a metal monkey, I think? Or so, my facebook application says. February is also a month of love. *sigh* It is good to be in love. Though I'm lacking of it,(lacking here I mean towards a significant other) I do enjoy seeing people who are in love. Envy? Jealousy? Emm, I don't think I have that against them or the concept of love. I'm just happy for them. It is good to feel happy for them, right? I wish I could, but maybe the timing is still not right for me. Hmmm..

Speaking of the kongxi celebration, today, 21 February 2008, I believe is the 15th day of the new year. So that means it's Chap Goh Meh today!! Also believed to be a chinese version of valentine's day for some people, this is the day where people believe when young maidens (or even men perhaps??) throw oranges (or some other things with your contact details attached to it) to the river or sea, with the hope that your true love will come or be unveiled to you. I don't know how true this is, but hey, at least it keeps the hopes and dreams alive for the hopefuls!! Can I throw buah mangga instead since I hace one at home right now?? Hehehe...or does a pre-packed buah pala can be counted as a buah and be used for the ritual? Ahh, that would be funny, throwing pre-packed pala to the river or sea. Kudos to the vagabonds who managed to fish the pack out of the water. They won't sleep with an empty stomach tonight! :))

Still on the subject of kongxi, I went to my cousin's house in Bdr Tun Hussein Onn on the first day of cny. Oh, by the way, she's married to a chinese guy, hence the celebration. She was 8 months pregnant then. Why the use of "was" and "then" you may ask. On the third day of cny, she gave birth to a baby girl and they named her Gloria Magdalene. Oh, what a beautiful sight! I visited them on sunday afternoon. My cousin underwent C-section, since the baby just refused to turn to the upside-down birthing position. Hmm, funny thing was, we (my cousin, her husband, and another cousin still studying in upm) were planning to go up Cameron Highland that weekend. Since I've never been there and it's my cousin's husband's hometown, so I was ever so excited to go there. Fate has it that on the second day of cny, my cousin's mom-in-law was not very supportive of the plan. Yalah, her tummy was H-U-G-E, and still mau pi jalan jauh-jauh. Well, I'm okay with the cancellation. In fact, grateful because if it wasn't for a kata-kata orang tua, we would have to find a bidan orang asli to deliver the baby..heheheh...the baby's father said that! I find it amusing;)

Apart from managing my stress (or loneliness/depression), I think my life is not so chaotic lately. Office life not included!! That is a different story altogether!!!
Mum suggested something. I'm a bit sceptical. I don't know why but I know I have quite a number of issues in my life right now - trust, security,etc. So I don't know how her suggestion would fit into it (or even solve them!). But no harm listening to your mum, kan? After all, she's been by my side, through thick and thin, since I was born. So until something else comes up, I will keep that in mind.

I think I should get myself an internet access at home, so that I could blog more often. Hmm, I really need to give that thought more weight...

a brand new year..

2008-01-12T15:44:00.000+08:00

to say that i'm verry happy that now is a brand new year is an understatement. i am actually very excited/over-the-moon joy that it's 2008. there were many happy memories in 2007 that i would cherish, also those not-so-happy moments that i just wish could have ended any other way compared to how it did.

2008....

well, it started off with my missing cardigan. so, it's just A cardigan, rite?? no, because it's my favourite piece..i could never find another one that would fit me just like how that one did...hmmm...looking at the bright side, now it's time for me to get myself a new one,rite? well,maybe...

and also there was trouble, or should i say, a bit of commotion in the office. you know what they say about those who like to jaga tepi kain orang...well, this guy just did that to me. which reminds me of what a friend said to me not so recently...'it is only when you are on leave that your colleagues start to back stab you,and that really hurts'...well guys, since that i am not so new in this field of back stabbing&kipas-ing, it's not something out of the ordinary that this guy did to me..just the reason that motivated him that intrigued me..

i mean, why would a guy with a PhD(err,not to be mistaken for Permanent Head Damage people!!)try to sabotage my application?? yup, thats what i call it, sabotage. i didn't feel the real urge to fill the application in the first place, but because of a directive from my superior (and also trying my luck at this aplication) i applied. little did i know that the other guy who applied for the same course(but at a different time frame)would take my form from my bos, used it as his guide(let me remind you, HE HAS A PhD),filled one form for himself and managed to persuade my bos to re-do my form!!!wow, what power!! this form that i filled was much,much better than the previous application that i sent for IAEA(and i managed to go to that course).

it just showed what an idiot that guy was. my bos even added some more scope in my research method that i don't approve of,& you know what, that scope that he gave me is kinda a preliminary work for the other guy. see what i had&have to face for the last 4++years & many more years to come??!! manipulative jerks i say. what else in 2008 regarding them?? well, i have to wait & see what else they have in store for me...

on the other hand, i was called for a very important 'meeting' last tuesday in putrajaya. well, it's just the day after i got back from kuching. it's the second call ever since i applied for that post.and luck has it that every time i was called for that, the important day would be just the day after i got back from somewhere far,haiyaa....twice oredi!!!i went the first time. but this time i just didn't have the energy to layan it...it's just I-M-P-O-S-S-I-B-L-E!! my friend who is an optimist calls it perfect timing. being a realist, i call it impossible timing...it's just too many things to be prepared for that meeting, so maybe it was not meant for me after all...

well, i had enough headache so far..& it's barely 3 weeks into 2008. hmmm...

since i predict that this year will be the year for me to be in my full swing mood, i hope(&pray) that favourable luck will come my way..no need the extravagant,over the moon type of luck la...just the ones that will make my heart skip a bit every once in a while...

me & my telur itik..

2007-12-09T16:37:00.000+08:00

i know i've been quiet over the past few weeks. i do have many stories to tell, but i think it would be suffice to tell you the story of me & my telur itik..for the time being ;)

well, a few months back, i was out for breakfast-lunch with few other colleagues, at a restaurant called larizz, somewhere near sg.ramal. as my colleagues were busy contemplating on what to eat, i was happily going through some of the dishes at the nasi campur counter as i had decided to take an early lunch.

so, off i go, senduk here...then i senduk there..senduk here again..i end up with nasi, masak lemak tapioca leaf, a bit of ladys finger and a telur dish. when i asked my fellow colleague, i was informed that the telur dish i had just ceduk-ed was a tye of masak lemak of telur..ayam..she thinks..

anyway, when i went to the counter to pay my food, i was dumbfounded when the lady said.."8 ringgit dik.." huh?? 8?? did i hear it right?? sensing my surprise, the lady then further clarified.."telur itik tu 2 setengah, nasi bla bla bla...". still dumbstriken, i did some mental calculation...air baru jak sringit, sik kan la teh o ais mahal..aiyo!!! the telur lah yg mahal!!!

that was the most expensive ever nasi campur that i ever bought!! & that happened just because of the telur itik!! mak datuk...never mind lah..maybe hard oso to get telur itik,kan??

well, then not too long ago, i had this craving for telur masin. as we all know (i hope..), that telur masin is made from telur itik, wrapped with charcoal, to induce the kemasinan factor. anyhow, went to the kedai near my apartment, got myself a few biji of the telur masin & went home.

what happened next was a total blunder. want to know?? read further...

i washed the first egg.
then i cracked it open.
haiya...still berair-air...can see the egg yolk some more...

since i bought 2 telur masin, here i go again...

i washed the second egg.
cracked it open.
hmm..strange..watery..

ayoyo...that was the curse of the kedai mamak lah!! they wont let me eat my telur masin in peace...some more..sell telur masin that cant be eaten...

haiya...what to do..go find other shop that sells telur masin...dont go to the previous shop...penipu!! humphh!!

so that evening, i went to another shop.bought a pack of telur masin, 3 in a pack. yay! yay! tonight can eat telur masin lorr....hehehe...

so, before i did anything, called mum and shared my predicament. "maybe the previous eggs you bought were not ready to be sold..you can never be sure of what lies inside each egg because of the charcoal mah..."that was what mum said to me. so i told her i'm going to do it again...will attempt until i get my telur masin for dinner...hehehe...

so off i go..i took 1 egg..
washed it..
cracked it open..

DISAPPOINTMENT!! .. AGAIN!!

huarghhhhhh....

i called mum again. "sedih la mum..after 3 attempts, i still could not get my telur masin...haiyoo..."

"alamak!! tak kan all the telur you bought are all rotten ones!!"

hmmm.....

"tell me again..what did you do after you boil the egg..."

what??

boil??

boil what???

...............*u see people,this is the part where you throw your head back, & laugh out LOUD!!!*

and next few minutes, i spent laughing my heart out...

out & LOUD!!!...

mum couldnt contain herself....she also laugh out loud. i could hear dad behind her..laughing also....hahahahahahahh!!!!!...

"how come you never thought of boiling the egg after you wash it? did you think that the egg is already hard after you buy it from the shop?"

well, what can i say..

then i realized all my life, i've never prepared a telur masin, myself. all i know of telur masin is the ones already cut into half...which was what i anticipated when i cracked it open previously & all i found was the watery beings...sheshh!

it never crossess my mind that i have to boil the egg first...

so was it my fault that i didn't know that i have to boil it first, before i can have the hard, ready-to-eat telur masin..hhehe...i blame it on my own ignorance...oh, what bliss!!!

so after that, i made sure i BOIL the egg FIRST, before i cut it open....well, thats my lesson,hehehe....

and before i end my post this time & go back to prepare my dinner, i would like to say that I LOVE TELUR MASIN!!!

my will or His?

2007-10-27T13:25:00.000+08:00

Another weekend, another chance to relax and unwind after 5 days at work. Also it has been a week plus since I last posted an entry in my blog.

There were many things that could have been written,but alas, I just didn't have the zest to blog.

To start, I felt weak & sad the whole week. I'm sure it's not because of the sleepless nights that I had.

Sure, I would be sleepy during the day if I don't have enough sleep, but this restlessness has been caused by something deep inside my head,..&heart.

No physical ailments, just psychological i think.

Last night before I went to bed I almost cried. When browsing through some websites, friends from facebook & friendster, I sensed an emotion that I've been suppressing all this time...

TO CARE & BE CARED...

Waahh....am i becoming more mellow these days??

I guess so.

Could it be because of the ever turbulent hormones in my body? Sure I do experience the breakouts on the face, occassional mood swings (not violent though!) but I never thought I would be having this kind of emotion,*a very long sigh*

Time and time again I've reminded myself that the Almighty will always be by my side..caring for me..taking care of me..guiding me..but my human & very fragile self keeps on debating if He is truly out there..watching & caring...

But for the time being..

Let Thy will be done

what do i make of all these evidences?

2007-10-17T09:38:00.000+08:00

Second day at work after the raya holiday & this place is still very quiet. i've seen some people have come back to work, but then again after you're done with the yellow card, they are no where to be seen. not that it's so weird that it happened but even during a normal week it still happens,hehehe.

i've pondered on what to write about since yesterday, & i've already decided on some activities that i did during the weekend. but something happened to me on my way to work this morning & i think what i experienced this morning is a good enough story.

well, i was practically CHASED by a small lorry. DAMN that dari-kirieng(DK) driver!!! I think it started right after the jln reko traffic light, near shell petrol station. i was from kajang & i think he was from fasa 4 tambahan area. so it was behind me & was quite fast. when the DK was on the right lane, it didn't go fast enough to overtake me (i was on the left lane). so when the end of the 2 lane road was near, the DK still didn't overtake so i took the lead lah. it was always very near my car & maybe the DK thought it was fun tail-gating. oh well, i just couldn't be bothered whether the DK wants to go fast or slow!

so the really 'fun' part started when i was approaching ukm gate near the golf course. the road started from a 2 lane from the bridge and ended a single lane soon after. but in front of me was a kembara, who was going at 50 or 60...like a sunday morning drive : & suddenly the DK signalled left & quickly steered left. just as the 2 lane was starting to end he tried to swerved to my lane (the main road). i maintained my cool because I WAS ON THE RIGHT LANE!!! again, DAMN THAT DK!!! he wanted to go in between me & the kembara & how could he do that, U CAN'T OVERTAKE FROM THE LEFT !!! arghhh... again that DK was a damnation!!!

so when the DK was unable to get his ways, he started to overtake my car & the kembara in front when he was able to do that. but when approaching the ukm main gate traffic light, he queued at first on the left lane but then swerved sharply to the right lane. obviously he managed to do that because there were no other cars in front of him, just motorbikes. little did i know that it was only the beginning of his pursuit.

when the light went green, as usual i would drive straight because the right lane only goes to the right. but this damnation DK also drove straight ahead & was behind me, AGAIN!!! & not long after that i was behind a van full with people on board, so it was going quite slow. 1 thing i realized about the road at bangi lama here is that after some time you will encounter a 2 lane road that will abruptly end with a 1 lane. & so, all hell broke loose again on me.

the DK started to speed up when the 2 to 1 lane started & was trying to sandwiched itself in between my car & the van. hmm, aku dah agak dah!!! that damn DK guy has nothing better to do during the 5th day of raya except provoking other people on the road! but then the van suddenly gave a right signal & the DK had to stopped momentarily so that the van could turn to the right junction. aha!! he was caught in the web that he was trying to weave!!

being a civilized and a good citizen of Malaysia, i just gave way to him because he was actually on the right lane, overtaking me, and this time he did it CORRECTLY!! but you see, nothing in the real world ever ended happily ever after, right? he just drove slowly in front of me, which was SO OKAYY with me. but he thought this would provoked me even further. i could see his reflection from his side mirror; smiling & gleaming, like as if he has won something or has bagged a first place at some race. yeah, first prize all right...at being a MORON!!!

he was still looking behind from his side mirror, & i think he was hoping for a reaction from me. hehe, i don't do anything such as a competiton or anything else for that matter, WITH IDIOTS OR MORONS!! i slowed down, to about 50 & stayed that way for almost 10 seconds. meaning he would have gone quite far ahead of me,kan? well, i won't say my luck was with me when the ordeal ended, just that the moron had lose interest with his pursuit for my reactions.

which kind of remind me of my past ordeals on the road...the first was with a bunch of kids...second was with a pakcik...third was with a guy at sri serdang...and today with that moron...exclude the very first encounter with a couple (God bless their souls, they were kind with me ;))..and what does the 4 cases have in common? they were all DK!!! and what do i make of all these evidences???

MORONS...

IDIOTS...

RACISTS...

nooo...those words are too soft, not suitable...

JUST ASSHOLES & F**KHEADS WITH SERIOUS ATTITUDE PROBLEMS!!!

Sayonara & Happy Holidays!!!

2007-10-12T15:51:00.000+08:00

Wahh... today is Friday & it's the last day of the week & tomorrow is Saturday and of course Hari Raya!!! Since the raya holidays this year falls on Saturday & Sunday, next Monday will be a public holiday. Hmm...how nice... 3 public holidays in a row...

Being one of those who does not celebrate raya, I am practically all by myself in the office today. There are a few of us left in this building & the place has turn somewhat into a pekan koboi...dusty, lonely & creepy...hehehe...it's an annual scene...

So what I did was I brought a few dvd sets (League of Extraordinary Gentlemen & 100 Days with Mr. Arrogant) and I sat infront of my laptop & watched the dvds. I went out for my morning break with a few colleagues and when I came back I continued watching the dvds before I went out for lunch. The building that I'm at now has this drop-deap silence!! But I enjoy each & every moment as this kind of feeling rarely occurs (only during raya I can get this somewhat joy!!).

My plans for the weekend?? My bro has confirmed that he will be coming over, my cousin & his friend are already at my place (since last sunday) & I expect another cousin to be coming over in the next few days. I have this craving that I've been waiting to be fulfilled for quite some time -->movie day!! Most probably I'll be going to TGV & catch up on the latest movies. What I have in mind is Resident Evil:Extinction. Hope everything will turn up fine for the next few days. Shopping complexes are also a good place to spend my time during this festive season. I wonder if there will be many city folks at those places during this holidays...

Well, today is the last day of a colleague of mine at work. She'll be leaving for Japan this weekend for a training course. She'll only be back next year, September!! So about a year away from Malaysia & this place!! Wow! Must be great. Talk about having a change of scene from the usual hustle & bustle here!!!

So that's a picture of our 'makan besar' yesterday afternoon. Being the centre of attention, most definitely she's the one in the centre of the pisture also...the kiut2 wan bah... ;-) Sort off a farewell lunch before she goes away. I must admit, I'm gonna miss her. Not only her presence, but also her ever precious 2-cents opinion,hehehe!!! No more someone with a sensible head on top of her shoulder lah after this. Haiya...I wish her all the best and I hope she will succeed in all her undertakings!!!

So, until the next time I blog, here's wishing my dear friend a sayonara and a happy holidays to everyone!!!

Cheers!!!

Today is the last day...

2007-10-12T13:23:00.001+08:00

I hope this works... ;-)

hehehe...

Drama here, drama there, drama, drama everywhere

2007-10-05T18:28:00.000+08:00

About a week more to go before raya. And the last 5 days (including today) has been an interesting week for me. I finished reading a book. I read a few blogs. I flipped through some journals. And at the same time I spent less time doing things related to my work!! Hehehe.. I blame the virus that has been spreading like wild fire--raya mood--!!!

Though I don't celebrate the occassion, the thought of fellow colleagues going back to their respective hometown brings back my own memories of going back home for easter/gawai/xmas... *sigh* I just wish that I could go back to Kuching,NOW!!!

I miss the food. I miss the atmosphere. I miss my family. I miss home. I miss poppy.

Who's poppy??

Oh. Thats our family's newly adopted stray dog. Left behind by it's previous owner, poppy has earned the hearts of many along lorong a1-c in bdc. Hehehe...my sis adores poppy. So do I ;)

At times poppy could be err,...quite dumb. But nevertheless, it's warmth and friendliness has brought about newfound emotions in me and has changed my perceptions of canine.

Here's a pic of poppy...

Looks cute kan?? But it's actually begging for attention, & food!!!

At first glance, poppy looks like a dog with a killing machine attitude. It will bark & bark at anyone who passes by the lorong. Hebat huh?? Yerdehh!!! The moment you stick your hand out like when you want to feed it, it will stop barking & approach you like it has known you for ages!!! You are lucky if it dont jump on you!! Or even lick you on your face!! So much for the barking ala penyangak terhebat!! Hehehe...confirm lah...cannot keep to become guard dog.

P.O.P.P.Y -- entertainment purposes only!!! Hehehe...

Anyway, enough with the drama about poppy. What happened today was filled with tension, & of course drama, with a capital D!!!! My dearB shouted at the other MemB. Tensions filled the air. Exasperated breaths were exhaled. High-pitched voices were exchanged. Ermmm...was with a colleague then...were not scared or terrified... just curious...hehehe...

Nuff said, I'm expecting next week to be a little bit more dramatic than today. Cross my fingers!!! I hope my expectations will not come true!!! O tuhan..tolonglah dengar permintaan hamba mu ini....hehehe. You know when some people don't get what they desire, they tend to release their anger or frustrations on others..especially those under them!! Arghhhh!!!!

Why can't they be more symphatetic towards those under them? Why can't they be more understanding? Why can't they be more professional? Why can't this, whay can't that...haiyo!! Many many why can't la! But it will never end. I'm starting to give up on the idea that someday that someone will be more down-to-earth. :( Why la my fate is like this wann....

Drama here, drama there, drama, drama everywhere....

Goalpost & Lipstick & .... It's Over ...

2007-10-01T19:49:00.000+08:00

Huhuhu…last night was the finale of season 2 and I’m agonizing about if there will ever be another drama series as cool as G&L. *sigh*

I must admit that I wasn’t into the movie at first. BUT I never miss a single episode in season 1. The thing that attracted me to become an ardent fan of season 1 was actually 3R. Why, people may ask. It’s because of the cast of crew members for 3R are the same for G&L. Plus the simplicity of the story line, how easy it was for me to relate to them (storyline tak merapu-rapu & very REAL!!). The script was humble & very down to earth… *sigh*

The same can also be said about season 2. Though I wasn’t able to follow each & every episode (memory failing me at times!!hahaha!!) I tried to read the synopsis of the episodes that I’ve missed. I saw the Sept 23 episode and also last nite’s (Sept 30). I didn’t know last night was the finale and I’m glad I didn’t change the channel!

Season 2 brought up many more complex and pressing issues in our society. I guess because 3R is no longer aired (I hope they are not going to discontinue it!) G&L is another platform for the team to present and discuss many taboo topics. Things that the so-called ‘normal’ people don’t talk about. Things that just make ‘no sense’. Things that can just be swiped under the carpet. Things that ‘normal’ people don’t deal with. What I like about last night’s episode was when Ayu’s parents finally found out that Reza used to be an addict & HIV +ve, they just refused to let the 2 get married (after a case of close proximity) even though before that Ayu’s parents were adamant that they get married (to save face la kunun nya!). How funny it was that the rest of Bukan Team Biasa (BTB) used the notion that ex-addicts or HIV+ve people are not son-in-law material and said that to the parents. Next thing you know, the father forbids Reza to go near his daughter (as if Reza wants it in the first place!!) and voila! The obstacle for Reza & Putri was uplifted!! *sighhhh*

My only qualm about season 2 is that sometimes some characters were overwhelmed with lines that were not to my liking. Hey, you can’t please everyone, can you?? Anyway, I still consider myself as a big fan of the series and I can’t wait for another product by the team!!

Just a recap of last night’s finale… (the goals for the characters, for the ones that I still remember..)

Putri & Reza … keluarga impian …tercapai…5 tahun kemudian

Aina & Ricky … mengelilingi dunia … tercapai …

Shasha… lelaki idaman … tercapai … 7 tahun kemudian

Eddy & Mia … suami & ayah yang terbaik … tercapai … 5 tahun kemudian (I think!)

Mia … kindy … tercapai …

Dayang … majistret mahkamah syariah … tercapai … 10 tahun kemudian …

Atoi … penyanyi rakaman … tercapai … & ling … pengurus penyanyi rakaman … tercapai …

J … memiliki kereta sport … sedang berusaha …

Zie … this part I don’t remember …..

Ikan … berkahwin dengan Zie … tidak akan tercapai … (at this point I couldn’t control myself & I burst out laughing!!hahaha!!)

GOL & GINCU….U’RE THE BEST… EVER!!!

Yes, you better believe this...

2007-09-29T10:49:00.000+08:00

So the other day when I was tuning in to channel 71, there was this particular song that I never thought could best describe how I feel about my life right now. Funny though, coz the album was out about few years back and I only realized the significance of the song now. Hehehe…well, the lyric goes like this...

SICK CYCLE CAROUSEL (Life House)

if shame had a face I think it would kind of look like mine

if it had a home would it be my eyes

would you believe me if I said I'm tired of this

well here we go now one more time

I tried to climb your steps

I tried to chase you down

I tried to see how low I could get down to the ground

I tried to earn my way

I tried to change this mind

you better believe that I have tried to beat this

so when will this end it goes on and on

over and over and over again

keeps spinning around I know that it won't stop

till I step down from this for good

well I never thought I'd end up here never

thought I'd be standing where I am

I guess I kind of thought that it would be easier than this

I guess I was wrong now one more time

I tried to climb your steps

I tried to chase you down

I tried to see how low I could get down to the ground

I tried to earn my way

I tried to change this mind

you better believe that I have tried to beat this

so when will this end it goes on and on

over and over and over again

keeps spinning around I know that it won't stop

till I step down from this

sick cycle carousel

this is a sick cycle yeah

sick cycle carousel

this is a sick cycle yeah

so when will this end it goes on and on

over and over and over again

keeps spinning around I know that it won't stop

till I step down from this for good

so when will this end it goes on and on

over and over and over again

keeps spinning around I know that it won't stop

till I step down from this for good

sick cycle carousel

sick cycle carousel

I never knew the meaning of this song from the writer’s/singer’s point of view. But can my life be described any better than this?? This is the best version so far. …so when will this end...it goes on and on…over and over and over again…keeps spinning around I know that it won't stop…till I step down from this for good…my journey so far has met with various obstacles. The ones that can be avoided, I did just that. And others that need to be dealt with, I just go ahead. The outcomes of each & every obstacles?? PRICELESS!! Along the way I’ve been…Down-hearted. Sad. Broken-hearted. Depressed. Bitter. Angry. Frustrated. Losing hope.

But as I said, those feelings are priceless & I will never stop remembering each and every moment that I’ve gone through with those emotions. I just hope that those emotions will be able to make me a better person; to be more accommodating, and patient…After all, what’s life without turbulence here and there, right?

But after my so called soul-searching trip the other day, I still could not come up with a definite, concrete plan about what ELSE to do. Hmmmm…

Are there too many choices?

Are there too many possibilities?

Are there too many outcomes?

Are there too many what ifs?

Or, am I just thinking too much??!!

Will I be able to carry out any of the plans that I have in mind?

Will I be able to make sacrifices?

Do I have the determination?

Do I have the guts?

Am I scared?

Am I really losing hope..

… I tried to climb your steps…I tried to chase you down…I tried to see how low I could get down to the ground…I tried to earn my way…I tried to change this mind…you better believe that I have tried to beat this…

Yes, you better believe that I have tried to beat this!!!

Of Greed and Sacrifices...

2007-09-22T18:50:00.001+08:00

macam serius jak post kali tok. tapi sebenarnya sik juak serius, ringan jak, sik perlu banyak berpikir. tok isu yang selalu juak terbayang-bayang di fikiran aku. hasil buah fikiran aku juak lah kiranya,hehehe.

how do we define greed?

according to wikipedia...Greed is the selfish desire for or pursuit of money, wealth, food, or other possessions, especially when this denies the same goods to others. It is generally considered a vice, and is one of the seven deadly sins in Catholicism. (aku baru tauk!!!)(People who do not view unconstrained acquisitiveness as a vice will generally use a word other than greed, which has strong negative connotations.)Some desire to increase one's wealth is nearly universal and acceptable in any culture, but this simple want is not considered greed. Greed is the extreme form of this desire, especially where one desires things simply for the sake of owning them. Greed may entail acquiring material possessions at the expense of another person's welfare (for example, a father buying himself a new car rather than fix the roof of his family's home) or otherwise reflect flawed priorities.

Coveting another person's goods is usually called envy, a word commonly confused with jealousy. The two words denote opposite forms of greed. We may envy and wish to have the possessions or qualities of another, but we jealously guard the possessions or qualities we believe we have and refuse to share these with others. Greed for food or drink, combined with excessive indulgence in them, is called gluttony. Excessive greed for and indulgence in sex is called lust, although this term no longer carries as negative connotations as it once did.Greed is sometimes represented by the frog.A woodcut by Ugo da Carpi, is entitled "Hercules Chasing Avarice from the Temple of the Muses." [1]. Thomas Aquinas metaphorically described the sin of Avarice as "Mammon being carried up from Hell by a wolf, coming to inflame the human heart with Greed".Proponents of laissez-faire capitalism sometimes argue that greed should not be considered a negative trait and should instead be embraced, as they claim that greed is a profoundly benevolent force in human affairs, as well as a necessary foundation for the capitalist system. Critics have argued this definition confuses greed with self-interest, which can be benign.

...ish ish ish..panjang juak penerangan for a simple 5 letter word_G.R.E.E.D_now, kenak la tiba-tiba aku terpikir pasal perkataan ya? Well, my week started with the news of quite a number of people getting the desired news of the century(d.n.o.t.c)! (at least in my small, isolated, little world!!) pasya, mulalah berita-berita atau kabar-kabar angin merebak..fuh!!macam bush fire yang kenak tiup angin…angin puting beliung mind you! Anyway, a friend who happens to be one of the fortunate ones (bless you!!) was telling me her ordeal. The moment the news spread like wild fire, numerous people came to see her and said many things…’im gonna get *48 earlier than you’…’see, I don’t have to get masters to have my paycheck the same as yours’…’perempuan tak gi jauh punye lah’…those were some of the many many more comments that she had to endure for the rest of the week.

Then there were also others that weren’t too happy when there were those whom they don’t like got the d.n.o.t.c. macam-macamla cerita yag keluar / terbit lepas ya. Tapi mun dipikir-pikir, aku pun sik brapa senang juak nangga ‘orang-orang’ yang aku rasa lagik hampeh dari aku.hehehe, don’t get me wrong…tok hanya pandangan dari seorang yang sikda professional training!! Dari segi kerjala, bukan dari segi personal. Kerja aku bukan main di kutuk nya, tapi kerja nya ya apa lah??bak kata sorang gik member..telefonis..kekekekekkk….goyang kaki, baca buku. Tapi apa salah baca buku nak? Apa salah dapat d.n.o.t.c nak? Regardless of whether they deserve it or not, it’s not in my capacity to judge,rite? So who to blame lah? The powers that be lah…haiya..senang juak benda yang nampak macam susah tok. Tapi mun dah sampe turn aku kelak, HAMPEH!!! iboh pikir banyak-banyak lah…syukur dengan apa yang aku ada & SIKDA!!
Mun aku betul-betul maok juak dengan apa yang orang lain ada, mesti aku dah berusaha dari dolok gik nak?? Tapi kenak la aku sik juak start-start? Malas kah aku tok? Atau saja jak sik mok piker ke depan? Tapi aku tok jenis yang selalu juak piker benda-benda yang aku maok polah di masa depan. Sebagai contoh, adakah aku maok polah kerja tok juak dalam tempoh masa 5 tahun gik? 10 years from now? Or until I retire? Ataupun, aku maok tukar….

Bukan aku sik pernah usaha untuk mengubah masa depan aku. Ada ku polah. Many many times before…but what was the outcome…I’m still here, doing what I’ve been doing for the past 4½ years..any regrets? Ummm….

But I’ve realized that I’ve learned a lot… SERIUS BANYAK!!..dalam beberapa tahun tok. I’ve seen how people can put my hopes down. Many instances, many times. I’ve also seen how prejudice can be imparted. Lelah lah mun mok taip banyak-banyak pasal hal-hal macam tok. Sik abis cerita kelak. Mun rilek-rilek minum kopi / teh sambil kelakar hal tok ok juak.
Jadi apa lah perancangan masa depan aku? Aku berik masa pada dirik aku pun sampe hujung tahun tok la..agik soul searching..gine-gine pun, 2008 is a year where I must be prepared to take up any challenges!! God, please grant me the strength to accept the things that I cannot change…….2007 is like a honeymoon year for me..banyak gilak benda/ hal yang lagging. Aku pun dah sik larat macam tok jak. Sik sanggup gue!!

And what about sacrifices??? Those who did many sacrifices to get d.n.o.t.c patut dipujilah..sik kisahla apa benda yang dah disacrifice ya. Tapi berbaloi sik sacrifice ya, nya jak yang tauk. Tapi ada juak yang sacrifice hal-hal yang sik patut..macm friendships, relationships…arghh!!! Pedulikan orang lain. Aku yang paling penting dalam hidup aku kan?? Hehehe….

Me : sacrifice???

Me : greed???

Bulak la mun aku padah sik pernah polah. Tapi to what extent?

Do sacrifices only when it will bring new meaning into my life…and treat greed with humility..don’t get carried away…

Of Smeagol and Heroes…

2007-09-09T17:50:00.000+08:00

“..pre..ciousss…..my prreciouss..”. Who would ever forget the catchy phrase uttered by the ever famous Smeagol of LOTR II & III. I would always think of him as somewhat of a unique character, in a weird way, cute, hehe. I saw the movie again last week on TV2 just a few nights before Merdeka. And I was treated with the showing of LOTR III just this Wednesday night. Too bad I miss the first one. Anyway, the introduction of Smeagol in the second movie was to help Frodo and Sam find their way to Mordor. He was portrayed as someone who was engulfed or too overwhelmed by the dark power of the ring that he was willing to do just about anything to get it back. Only in the third movie that we were shown how his being skinny and pathetic Gollum started. He even killed his fishing friend over the ring. What was it about the ring that it was able to mesmerise almost everyone? The power? The strength? The influence? Or just the shining bit? Hehehe.

What captured my attention was the fact that Smeagol had at times dual personality—one that was willing to help Frodo & Sam find their way; and one that tried to make him betray the dynamic duo and just take the precious item of all -- THE RING!! – Time and time again he tried to chase the demon side of him away, trusting that Frodo will take care of him (I think so!) with him frequently calling Frodo as ‘Master’. But my lack of understanding of the story is further illustrated as I’ve never read the book (due to the minuscule font size!) and my understanding and explanation given here might not do justice to the story as I am only interpreting Smeagol’s role base on the movie. I understand that he was almost all the time a miserable chap, and by having the ring with him all the time he felt that he will be whole again and will never need anyone or anything in his life to make it complete!

From the movie based on a storybook, I would like to cross over to a TV series based on nothing spectacularly written by anyone previously, just the script written by the scriptwriters during the 21st century – HEROES. Here we have the one that will heal after being wounded in every other way possible; the one who could fly; the one who could stop time; the one who could draw the future; the one who could do the mind reading; the one who could pick up just any skills from the others and manifests those powers as his own. Aahh, but there’s THE ONE who intrigued me the most. Which kinda remind me of Smeagol -- the one with the other sister -- she was supposed to be wayyy stronger after the other sister takes over the body. Familiar rite? Not the taking over body though but the part where there are 2 personalities in 1 body.

Here is something that I found in a book recently…

…Personality disorder - is characterized by patterns of perceiving, reacting and relating that are relatively inflexible and socially maladaptive…
…Dissociative identity disorder - formerly called multiple personality disorder, two or more identities or personalities alternate…

When the other sister took over the body, did it make the newly ‘transformed’ her a hero? By killing others who are threatening her family members, can that reason justify the act? I can see one thing similar between Smeagol & the 2 sisters – they needed something that will be able to reflect their image so that we as viewers would be able to see the reflection of the other person inside them. And how would we see the other person inside of us? By looking inside a mirror too?

By looking back from where I stand now, I noticed that I am no better than Smeagol or the hero character. There’s another side of me that I always keep to myself. The side that requires no one else but me myself and I. And when do I show this side of me? …when mum needs teman to the market…when sis wants me to buy something for her… when my bro and any of my cousins are around me…when dad comments on something…when very good friends are with me…when I am all alone…

And when don’t I want to see but I have no other choice but to see the other side of other people…on the road…office…shops…life itself…most of the time, mean ones. But usually out of this world. And how do I manage my own life with so many split personalities around me?? Maybe I should give those ‘colourful’ characters a ring each, so that their attention will be concentrated on the ring only and my life will be less dramatic due to their antics, hehehe…what a wishful thinking!!

Am I not being myself when I act differently to different people? Only when it comes to being rude or nice.. I will still eat in front of other people when I’m hungry; I will still laugh out loud when someone tells me a joke, yes, even in public; I will still be myself in many other instances, the only difference will only be in the intensity of being myself, hehe..

And finally I’ve decided…

2007-08-31T18:01:00.000+08:00

Finally a blog of my own…so I’ve finally decided to have a space of my own, to write whatever that crosses my mind and heart. I am still not sure if I will write regularly in this space of mine, nor am I sure I should be writing in one particular language only. Well, I think I will just write in any language that I feel will best describe my feelings. After all, I don’t want anyone to misinterpret my writings, that is if there’s anyone willing to read my writings, hehe.

I am still new at this blogging thing. Is it supposed to be like a diary, only now it’s online and the rest of the world could read it (if there’s anyone out there willing to read it!). If my sis is around for sure she will laugh at my little knowledge of this blog thingy! Hmm, been contemplating about this blog thingy for about a few months. But finally I’ve decided I must do something new, create a new hobby or do some activity other than my usual stuff. Maybe through this blog I could explore my unknown ability, talent or thoughts, and who knows, something new from all these!

For a start, what’s with the title? I am just starting to write a blog and I’ve named my first post as “and finally I’ve decided…”. When did anything ever start?? For sure my life started about 27 years ago. I started going to school at the tender age of 5 (some Chinese medium pre-school back in Sri Aman, formerly and dearly known as Simanggang). Then I started going to primary school. It was SRB St. Luke, then SRK Tuanku Bagus, then SRB Catholic English. I started secondary school at SMB St. Teresa(ohh, those wonderful years!!). Well, did my education ended after Form 5? No. I started my matriculation at UNIMAS, graduated and started my working life about 4 years and 4 months ago. Did I ever stop learning? Ermm, maybe not yet...

Then what else have I started doing? Many other things!! I started doing things that I never dreamt I would do. Small small things though, but has left everlasting memories. Like meeting new people, from all walks of life, from many different countries, from very different background from my own…never mind the many different ways people have back stabbed or manipulate or humiliate me, I should consider myself as being blessed…must always count the blessings mum said to me once. I guess I should. I must!!
But for a start, what I’ve written so far is enough for my first post. And finally I’ve decided that this will be my ending..for the time being…